


Tangential to X.

by Josaporta



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 01:21:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2794574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Josaporta/pseuds/Josaporta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In geometry, the tangent to a plane curve at a given point is the straight line that "just touches" the curve at that point; touching at a single point and nowhere else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tangential to X.

Ty and Josh met once.

Tyler always spent a long time staring at the brown marks streaked across his ribs. They looked like a tattoo, just like anyone else’s, but it was the meaning that always stopped him in his tracks. He thought about this person, Josh, a lot. What was he like? Was he funny? Did he liked music? What kind? Was he handsome? That had always struck Tyler as a little superficial, but then he realized that no matter what, he’d think Josh was handsome, because he’d be his soul mate, and they’d be perfect together. And every time he took a shower, he’d look at it in the mirror, run his fingers over it and watch goosebumps rise up along the bottom of his ribs. It always tickled a little bit, and he wondered why that was. People weren’t supposed to be able to tickle themselves. Maybe it was just a fluke, maybe it was some greater calling to his soul mate. Either way, it made his fingers twitch and his heartbeat pick up. He wondered if Josh could feel it.

He’d known a few Joshes in his life, but none had been the right one.

For a while, he was homeschooled. He didn’t know anyone, let alone any Joshes. Then, once his mom started teaching full time, he started going to school. He didn’t have her class, but he saw her at lunch and he always liked to sit by her, even if it was a little weird. He’d always ask her if there was a Josh in her class, but every time she would say that no, she hadn’t met any or couldn’t help him. He had to find him on his own.

So Tyler went looking.

He had known a Josh in fourth grade, a little kid who was too mean, who didn’t have the name Tyler etched into him and who had called Tyler names when he’d found out that Tyler had a boy’s name. Tyler had cried to his mom for a long time about that, and she’d told him that sometimes people were born that way, and it was okay. He wasn’t a freak or any of the other hateful words that had been spewed at him. He was just different and no one who mattered would love him any less, including Josh. He’d taken that with a grain of salt, but it stuck with him and he repeated it to himself when people started teasing him about his name again.

He knew a Josh in sixth grade, a different Josh than the one that had tried to tear him down to nothing but foul words and hurtful things. He was nice, he was sweet. Tyler thought he had a crush on him, thought he was his Josh. But this Josh didn’t like boys like Tyler did. He didn’t like Tyler, but that was okay. Tyler was pretty sure he hadn’t been the right Josh either. It hurt to think about back then, even if he knew he’d get over it eventually. He just wanted to find the right Josh -- the one that loved him back.

It was after that that he and his mom went back to homeschooling him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know any more Joshes after the last one had made his chest ache so deeply, given him the false hope that he’d finally found his Josh and then shattered it. He didn’t know if he wanted to keep checking anymore, now that the reality that he might never find him was setting in.

It wasn’t until he was in ninth grade, almost ready to go back to normal school, that he met a Josh from his church. He wasn’t what Tyler had been expecting, but he also wasn’t the right one. This Josh had a girl’s name streaked across his arm, and Tyler saved himself the heartache before it started.

There was still something dark that gnawed at his insides, though. He took to playing music to drown it out, strummed a ukulele and plinked at piano keys. He was good, and he performed for his church, but no Joshes ever came up to tell him that he was looking for Tyler. It kind of stung, because he’d hoped that this might draw him out if he was a little more open, a little less shy. Nothing seemed to work, though. But that was okay. He’d started to give up on a lot of things and finding his Josh was just one of them.

For a long time after that, Tyler didn’t react when he met Joshes. There was the one on his basketball team who had balked when he’d seen Tyler’s mark. There was the one in his first college class who had his soul mate already draped across his back when they met, looking like a real couple.

He was always so jealous of the people who had found their Joshes. He knew that his would be the most perfect, but he couldn’t help but look at the traits he saw in the others that he would have liked. The things he would have been attracted to. It wasn’t fair, but he understood now that the universe always liked to play some cruel joke on him. That was why he’d met so many Joshes without any of them being the right one. That was why he’d turned away a basketball scouting to do music, only to have his family end up a little hurt, confused with him and his decision. That was why he constantly felt like the walls were crumbling down around him and that there wasn’t anything to look forward to.

He knew that wasn’t true, though, and he got help for it.

It helped a little.

Tyler met another Josh when he was twenty-one. He had a faux-hawk and stretched ears, a labret and a loud smile. He laughed with his whole body and Tyler was so afraid to hope that he was his Josh that he never said anything. They met once, he was a friend of Tyler’s bassist, Chris, and they worked together at Guitar Center. He came up to Tyler after seeing them play a show, his eyes bright like Tyler had never seen anyone’s and warm with something he wasn’t sure of. He choked on the question of what the name he couldn’t see said-- if it was Tyler streaked across his ribs to match the Josh on his. He chickened out, and instead they just smiled at each other.

Josh had loved the set, had felt the energy and been inspired by Tyler so much that he’d bought one of the little burned CDs they were selling. Tyler’s stomach flipped at that, butterflies ghosting their way through his system. He didn’t let himself think about it, though. He’d been wrong too many times, doubted himself too much anymore. They went back to Chris’s with the rest of the group that had been there and ended up sitting on the roof and talking all night. The conversation of soulmate marks never came up and fear crawled up Tyler’s throat that maybe this Josh was already taken, had already found his soulmate. Or maybe he was one of the few people born without one, who could have whoever they wanted.

Tyler hoped he wanted him, if he was.

Life wasn’t always that simple, though. They’d ended up having to go back inside and then they’d seen the time. Tyler hadn’t thought to ask for Josh’s number and Josh hadn’t offered.

It hurt to see him leave.

It wasn’t until two years later, when Tyler was doing his thing with music, still trying to get it up off the ground, that he heard of that Josh again. More had come and gone, but after Josh Dun, none seemed to click like they had. Tyler had known that night that he was his Josh, but he’d let him slip through his fingers and now he was gone. Josh was with a band, drumming like he said he loved to, dating a girl named Debby. Tyler was so, so envious of her.

His mom assured him that they would find each other again, eventually, but he wasn’t so sure. He didn’t have much hope for anything, anyway.

He pointedly ignored the “Tyler” written across Josh’s ribs every time he looked up a video of him drumming, the pang in his chest rearing its ugly head. He’d missed his chance, though, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

After a few more years, he stopped looking him up. It hurt too much to think of how hard he’d tried and he still hadn’t been able to get his Josh.

He wondered sometimes if Josh thought he’d been the right Tyler, but that hurt, too.

His mom had eventually given up trying to reassure him and instead patted his back, and her voice rang out loud and clear the first time Tyler knew that it wasn’t going to happen.

“Sometimes these things happen and it can’t be helped. I’m sorry, Tyler.”

And that was when he’d really given up on Josh Dun.

Even if he had been the right Josh.

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of based on the "your soul mate's name is tattooed/written on you somewhere" idea combined with a post I saw about wondering how many people's lives you just touch once and then never again.  
> Also, Christmas fic!!


End file.
